Spring ahead at 2 a.m. on Sunday, and then check the expiration dates on your condoms!
Remember, condoms are free at all PPLM health centers.
(2/2) I think I’m starting to get feelings for him and it’s confusing and distracting me. I think about him a lot… BUT I want to stay with my boyfriend. I know we have a good thing and I don’t want to risk it. Any advice about getting this other guy off my mind?
You are suffering from a serious case of “grass is greener”.
You have an awesome guy in your life, one who “treats you well… cracks you up” and that gets you off! I should be so lucky!
You are developing a crush on someone who is not the guy you’re dating who makes you very happy, and this is the definition of the danger zone, my friend.
The best thing you can do is cut down your contact with your friend significantly, if not all together. If you want to make your current, and awesome, relationship work, then you need to focus on it, and all the ways it is awesome and makes you happy.
You don’t have to stop talking to your friend forever, but waiting until these feelings go away would be a good first step. Be good to your relationship, treat it with respect and care, and it will last and continue to be rewarding and fulfilling.
Guys, you could not ASK for a better person to ask dorm advice of. This is exactly who you should ask.
Thank you, lovely RA, you really are lovely!
YOU ARE 19!!!!!!!!!
I didn’t have sex at all until I was 19. I had never encountered a penis at ALL until I was 19. And now look at this, you’re asking me for advice about sex, advice I can give because I have had a LOT of sex. You will have sex again, is what I’m saying.
Also, you are allowed to not be awesome at sex. You’re learning, you’re figuring things out. No one has natural ability, it’s all learned. Some people take to it better than others, but no one springs from the womb with the innate ability to get other people off.
Don’t be focused on whither or not he gets you off. Focus on if it feels good or not.
AND, if it doesn’t feel good, help him! He’s not going to gain telepathic powers with your clit, you need to help him figure out what feels good to you. Give him suggestions, guide him, tell him when something feels good.
Everything takes practice, so maybe giving him another try at fingering you could be arranged too? Use the same tips I gave above, and he’ll be awesome.
I have broken up with my boyfrined 3w ago and i really lost my libido. I dont masturbate and porn somehow turns me off. He was the center of my arousal and i feel like i shouldnt think of him when i masturbate. how long will this last? -Anon.
Getting over someone takes time, and you can’t force it. It’s especially hard when they were someone who turned you on.
Here’s the cool part though. There is nothing at all that says you have to stop remembering the good stuff. If he was a shitty human being, but he was a good lay, then you’re not a bad person for thinking about the good lay part! That’s allowed! Some of my best sexual experiences were with people who later turned out to be jerks. People I don’t even talk to any more! People I NEVER want to talk to again. But I still think of them sometimes when I’m masturbating, because that part WAS fun, and good, and enjoyable.
Also, I know it feels like a long time, but 3 weeks is VERY short in the grand scheme of things, and you will get your libido back, everything will be okay.
We actually both went to College, but to my knowledge Dani didn’t ever live in campus housing, while I did.
You are usually allowed to have sex in your dorm room, though being polite to the tastes and privacy of your partner, yourself, and your room mates is a good idea (I.E. don’t come in at 3 AM to a shared room and have loud sex while your roommate(s) pretend to be asleep, they will eventually hate you).
If you are interested in partners of the same sex you CAN sleep with your room mate, but be warned that if that relationship goes bad you can’t ask to transfer to a different room mid semester. I would try to aim for people who I wasn’t already spending every evening with, but that’s me speaking from experience and being 12 years removed from my college dorm days.
As for masturbation (and don’t kid yourself, lots of girls have to navigate masturbation in shared rooms too, not just guys), the best answer is to masturbate in the shower if you have one just for your room. Make sure to clean up after yourself, make sure everything goes down the drain, and don’t leave it to get crusty on a shower wall or curtain. Courteous splooging, if you please.
If you are more daring, or have roommates that sleep REALLY soundly, you could also occasionally get away with watching porn on your computer/tablet/ phone with headphones and then then going to the bathroom to get off.
You will become a master of stealth masturbation in no time!
The general rule is, if you’re going to do something you wouldn’t want other people to hang out for, try to find places to be that will give you privacy. They’ll be different on each campus, but there are always ways to be alone for a crucial few moments. This doesn’t mean “lower populated public spaces” either. I do not endorse fucking anyone (including yourself) at the library, college is hard enough without having to navigate around a couple having “covert” sex in order to get the books you need.
Hope this was helpful, and please know that I feel super special that you addressed me personally for this question.
We never recommend condomless sex. (ETA: Unless you are actively trying to get pregnant.) Here’s a whole bunch of posts about why:
We strongly believe in safe and safer sex. Deciding to have sex without using protection is a personal choice and one we honor, however it’s not one we endorse.
If you use another form of reliable birth control and are prepared to be "fluid bonded" to your partner, then we highly suggest regular testing for sexually transmitted disease and infection.
I really like putt plugs.
They feel good to me, and I enjoy using them during sex and foreplay.
That said, they aren’t for everyone, much like everything else sexual. Different strokes for different folks, you know? BUT, you do like external stimulation of your anus, so that’s a good sign that you might enjoy butt plugs too.
Butt plugs come in a variety of sizes, everything from little tiny starter ones that are the width of a finger, to ones the size of a large penis… and larger still. BUT you don’t need to worry about those right now.
I’m going to give you a couple options for good starter plugs from an awesome company that I recommend to many people. Tantus makes AMAZING sex toys, everything is of superior quality and craftsmanship, if I had to buy toys from only one brand for the rest of my life, I would pick Tantus without hesitation.
So, first, here is Tantus’s entire butt plug selection.
My recommendations for starter plugs are as follows:
The Little Flirt is an amazing butt plug made especially for starter anal play.
The Slim is ever so slightly larger in diameter and has a shorter “neck” than the little flirt, but is still an excellent choice for a beginner.
The Ripple Small is a good toy if you want to actually be fucked with it instead of it just resting inside you. The ripple feels amazing, but isn’t built to stay put as much as it is to be used by a partner or you “in action”.
I hope this helped you a bit! As a final note: Make sure you use lube when ever you’re participating in anal play. your butt doesn’t provide any lubricant on it’s own, so you need to give it something to make it slippery. Spit is not the answer here. A good lube (like Pink, which is sold at Walgreens and Target) is your friend, and makes everything feel really great.
Don’t apologize. Your question was totally fine. I still really don’t think you need to worry about an average though, it’s really about you and what is normal for you. If you’re ejaculating inside of them, it won’t matter. If it’s a hand job situation, keep a towel handy. If it’s a blow job, maybe work up to orgasming in someone’s mouth so they can see how much/how far you cum before they decide to take it on themselves.
Giving you an average wouldn’t help you with this really anyway, it’s really all about how this works for you and how your partner feels about coming into contact with semen in the first place.
Just because I can’t not say this: hopefully you’re using a condom for any sex acts that involve the exchange of fluids.