Anonymous - Hi ladies! I was wondering if I could get some (kinda) relationship advice. My boyfriend and I are long distance and my friends keep trying to set me up with people here. How do I tell them this upsets me?

"I’m already in a relationship. What you’re doing upsets me. Stop."

Anonymous - Last night I get hella drunk and ended up giving some guy I work with a blow job at 1am in the street. It was a total hot mess, I was drunk and had previously never given a bj before. I obviously have to work with him again, which is what it is, I feel like I should message him to be all 'I don't really know what the fuck last night was' but I have literally no idea what to say. Should I apologise or just be like 'yeah, so that happened.'? Or should I leave it and see if he messages me about it?

Aw man, awkward city, Darlin’! This is generally why booze and co-workers don’t mix.

Long ago, when I was still learning this lesson and had not mastered the art of “look, but don’t touch”, I found myself in a similar situation to yours more than once.

The best way to make it very clear that you know what happened, but you’re not interested in a repeat performance, is to say something to the effect of “Let’s just call that a booze blunder and move on.”

Yes you fooled around, yes you will see them again, no this isn’t the start of an illicit break room romance. The “Yeah, so that happened.” is going to be your best bet.

The only reason I can think of for apologizing, would be if you were forceful or coercive about getting in his pants, or ignored him if he said no, because then you’ve sexually assaulted someone, and you totally need to apologize for that behavior.

I sincerely hope that this was not the case, and you just made questionable, but MUTUAL, choice about semi-public sexual activity.

xoxo, Shannon

angle-of-depression:

nothingcorporate:

opinions on abortions are kinda like nipples

everyone has them but women’s are a little bit more relevant 

But all you ever see are men’s

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foreverfuckingpanda - Why and how do women "fake" an orgasm? I like don't understand how you can fake such a thing.

To fake an orgasm as a woman is to give the physical impression that you are having one.

You can start breathing heavily and make more noise, or louder noises, you can can clench your pelvic floor muscles to simulate the natural clenching that occurs during orgasm. Some people just choose to say “I’m coming!”

Faking of an orgasm isn’t a good idea, because it leads your partner to believe that the things they are doing, are in fact getting you off, when instead they aren’t. They won’t learn how to actually get you off if you continue to fake orgasms.

HOWEVER, sometimes, for a number of reasons, you want to “get it over with”, it could be that you are tired and need to stop, it could be that you realized you didn’t want to have sex with this person any more, and sometimes it can be scary to think of telling someone you don’t want to sleep with them, while sleeping with them. So for safety reasons, sometimes the path of least resistance is to fake an orgasm, get dressed, and get out of there.

It’s not a good place to be, but I know from personal experience that sometimes that’s how things need to go down in order for you to feel safe and get out of that situation.

xoxo, Shannon

Anonymous - I'm the person who sent the questions about the murderous thoughts, is there a way I could send a response to that and remain anon and so that others can't see it?

There is no way to respond to anonymous messages privately. Sorry. 

ETA: you can message us off anon and we can reply privately, but we aren’t always able to do that in a timely manner. if this is a time sensitive need, please find someone in your immediate area to help you. I would hate for someone to get hurt because we got busy and couldn’t answer right away. :( 

POSTED 3 days ago with 2 notes · REBLOG
Anonymous - So my gf told me about murderous thoughts she had and has, and I feel like I have to do something about it, but I don't want to betray her trust. I'm wondering what you would do if you were in this situation? I'm scared of something happening to someone and if it were to happen it would kill me knowing that I could have done something to prevent it.

So, this is tricky because it’s difficult to weigh safety of others against betraying the trust of your loved one HOWEVER I would err on the side of caution. Did your girlfriend say who she was thinking of hurting? If she made threats about a person or group of people, honestly, call the police. They may not do anything, but at least a record will be logged that you did what you could to inform the correct people that this person was thinking of hurting someone. 

If she’s thinking of hurting someone you know, it might be worth it to talk to that person as well. Let them know you think she may be dangerous and they should take precautions when dealing with her. (Perhaps getting a restraining order or making sure not to be alone with her.) 

If it’s just a general “I think I might seriously hurt someone.” statement, maybe asking her if she thinks talking to a therapist might help. If she’s telling you that she just generally feels homicidal, that’s her reaching out and she may be scared of the thoughts she’s having but doesn’t know how to ask for help. Helping her find a therapist or even an inpatient facility that can get her treatment before she does something dangerous would be a good way of no violating her trust and actually helping her. 

Really without knowing the specifics of “murderous thoughts” it’s hard to give very specific directions of what to do. But basically, if you really think she might hurt someone and isn’t just “oh my god I could kill him!” blowing off steam, it’s worth the betrayal of trust to ensure the safety of another human. And moreover, to maybe help her from doing something bad that would put her at risk of jail time or worse. 

-Dani

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Anonymous - Could you possibly make a master post of UK links that's similar to the comprehensive sex-ed one you posted? It would be much appreciated

That was a reblog and not our original post. If we come across one we will happily reblog it though! 

POSTED 4 days ago with 2 notes · REBLOG
rosecransandpunk - I'm from Indiana and when I had health class, there happened to be a girl that I was friends with who was pregnant. Our teacher made her stand up and explain why unprotected sex was wrong and why we shouldn't end up like her. The fact that he made her do that still really disturbs me.

OH MY FUCKING GOD. This is horrible. I cannot believe he did this and even more so that he wasn’t fired for it. 

I am so sorry that happened to that girl. 

couhnida - This may not be relevant to the sex ed discussion but I went to high school in south Scotland (which is usually 11/2-18 on average, 5/6 years) and had very good sex ed from the start, at least the heterosexual stuff. The guy-guy stuff was properly educated on when it was brought up but I'm not sure girl-girl was ever mentioned. We did get taught safe sex techniques along with sex is a fun thing and a masturbation video for girls. So over-all I thought it was quite good, no scare tactics.

YAY! That sounds lovely! And aside from the relatively heteronormative side of it (which may have just been a lack of knowledge about girl-girl sex) sounds pretty ideal. You know, if I were personally in charge of sex education curriculum everywhere. :) 

Thanks for sharing! 

-D

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laurenflick - My school had multiple health teachers. I somehow just got stuck with the football coach. I had classmates carrying around a bag of flour for a week and had to pretend it was their "baby" but, again, I'm sure that was part of their "No sex or you'll get pregnant and die!"-way of teaching. Thankfully, I too am VERY close to my mom and was never afraid to ask her questions. Now, I'm in my 20's with a healthy (and safe! BC & condoms yay!) sex life. In case yall were worried! :)

I think I had a sack of flour in sixth grade and an egg in seventh. By 8th grade they had moved on to baby dolls that cried and pooped. It wasn’t a “scare” tactic so much as a “this is a very real consequence to unsafe sex.” 

I murdered no less than two bags of flour and half a dozen eggs. Pretty sure my baby died of neglect in 8th grade too. Which did have a pretty amazing impact on me. It’s part of the reason I am the Condom Crusader I am now. 

We were also presented with a lot of info on condoms, birth control and even abstinence as well though. It was a “you can roll this piece of plastic on OR take care of a screaming shit machine. Your choice.” sort of deal. 

I never was really told about abortion though. That’s unsurprising however since it’s still such a contentious topic. I’m lucky that I had a family member who had an abortion while I was early on in high school and she talked to me about it pretty frankly. 

I also watched my aunt Jackie give birth on the night of my junior prom. Also had a pretty good impact. 

The safer sex/pregnancy issue is an important one, obviously. But what really worries me is that basic health issues, like naturally occurring (not STD related) infections aren’t being taught. Kids should know that there is no shame in talking about what is happening with their bodies and that if they’e in pain or uncomfortable, even if it’s in their “no-no spot” (gag) they should be able to ask for medical care. That is scary as shit to me, that there are teenagers out there with entirely treatable UTI’s or yeast infections that are too afraid to ask their parents to take them to a doctor because they don’t know what is happening to their bodies and they’re worried that because it has to do with their reproductive parts they’ll get in trouble. 

So scary. Please, guys, if you’re in pain: get medical attention. There is nothing to be ashamed of. Even if it IS sexually transmitted. It’s okay, still talk to a doctor, a school nurse, SOMEONE. Take care of your bodies. 

-Dani

POSTED 4 days ago with 7 notes · REBLOG
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